Dear Scott and Cheri,
Hunting season is coming up. That means I’ll hardly see my husband all
fall. He says that it is a God given desire that needs to be fulfilled.
Hunting isn’t the only thing he has used that line for. It doesn’t seem
right that every fall I should submit to this. “Hunting Widow”
Dear “Hunting Widow,”
Hot topic! We struggle with similar issues. Scott spent the entire labor
day weekend building a deer blind with the boys. Many wives deal with
being left alone. If it’s not hunting, it’s sports or a hobby.
There is some sort of primeval call of the wild that takes possession of
millions of men every fall. It is no respecter of race, creed, religion,
social or economic status. It can transform a mild mannered Clark Kent
into a forest dweller, fully equipped with weapons of mass destruction.
In reality it seems like the only thing being destroyed is your
relationship!
One key to dealing with this issue is understanding. You need to
understand that a man’s habits, yes even his speech, may change during
hunting season.
For example, here’s The Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear Your Deer
Hunter Say
10 It’s too early to hunt.
9 Did you pick up my camo from the dry cleaners?
8 Oh yeah, you’re a much better hunter than I am.
7 Sorry guys, there’s not enough room to take the cooler.
6 Of course I’ll be home before dark, honey.
5 My tree stand’s too high. I’ll just hunt from the ground.
4 Shoot the small ones, the big ones are too heavy to carry out.
3 That deer’s too cute to shoot.
2 I’d never miss work to go hunting.
1 I’d rather stay home with my wife than hunt.
A second key is do it together. One of man’s greatest needs is that of
recreational companionship. So what’s a wife to do? Should she don her
camo, pick up a rifle and strut out to the woods with him? Many wives
enthusiastically (seemingly so anyway) went hunting or to the ball game
with their hubbies during their courtship or in the early years. (By the
way, Cheri tried that. It was before we had kids. She got her deer at
300 yards only four hours after opening day sunrise. Of course, she did
cry when she looked into its big brown eyes before we needed to finish
it off. Needless to say, she wasn’t invited to go again.)
It’s wonderful when a couple can find recreational outlets that are
mutually satisfying. This, however, doesn’t happen often. Both spouses
need to adopt the attitude of “I will do this because my spouse enjoys
it, and I want to be with them.” Seriously, some wives find a day in
the woods with their man to be therapeutic, they’re spending time
together.
Another key is to use that time to do something you want to do while
he’s away. Here’s a positive thought, sometimes it’s nice to just have
him out of the house “doing his thing” for a while–it gives you a chance
to get caught up on the stuff you never have time to do when he’s
around. However, it might not seem fair that you work all week outside
your home and then work all weekend in it. Or that you have taken care
of the kids all week, and now he’s not there to spend quality family
time with them on the weekend. But that’s another issue.
If he simply must hunt, and you adamantly refuse to wear camo, pray that
he will bag his game soon, and hang onto this thought – THIS TOO SHALL
PASS. Winter’s coming.
If you have a question on marriage or family you would like Scott and
Cheri to address, send it or e-mail it to this newspaper. To receive
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